Not Forgotten
1/21/2003
Sometimes it is hard to remember that others have a much more difficult life than we do. Maybe it is part of the American culture to dwell on the things that we do not have rather than those we have been fortunate enough to attain. With the coming of this past New Year, I was forced to contemplate a lot of things that I had often taken for granted.
I witnessed a tragic accident in front of my house in which one of my sanitation workers was run over by the truck he was working on. I use the word “witnessed” not because I actually saw the gruesome reality of the event, but because I was forced to face the very sobering aftermath. Arriving home seconds after the event, I did not immediately realize the severity of the accident. I was unsure of what happened at that point and what I could do to help. I placed a blanket over the young man to protect him from the light snow that was falling, but I did not know that else to do; what else I should do. As the driver was on the phone with 911, I tried to console the man lying a few feet from my driveway by assuring him that help was on the way and to try not to move, but I felt like I wanted to do more. I will probably never forget the wide-open gaze in his eyes. His head was moving slightly, but there was an unexplainable emptiness in his fully dilated pupils.
I later found out that the young man died before the ambulance could get him to the closest hospital. He was only twenty years old. A few days later the brother of the young man came to thank me for everything that I did to comfort his brother. It was a nice feeling to know that what little I could do helped in some way, even if it only helped the surviving family. I told him that I was there talking to his brother and that he was not alone which seemed to offer some level of comfort to him which in turn helped me.
I barely had time to contemplate the accident when a little more than a day later I received a phone call at 3 A.M. from my mother-in-law. As soon as I heard the phone ring I knew the inevitable news that I was about to receive. My wife’s grandfather, who had been hospitalized since Christmas morning (two weeks earlier), had gone into cardiac distress. My wife and I had lived with her grandparents for nearly two years and in that time he became my grandfather as well. The immediate family rushed to the hospital to be by his side when he passed. I had never been so intimately close to death. I had always found out through my parents a day after the fact that so and so had died, but I was right there. Although he was 82 when he died, he had so much life in him; it still seemed too soon.
Although the circumstances of each death were as far apart as one could imagine, they both had and combined effect on me. One person lost before life could be fully experienced and another lost with all of its combined knowledge and wisdom. After events such as these, it is easy to step back and realize what we do have and forget that we do not have the frivolous things that we too often see as necessities. A few days later my great-uncle passed away further cementing my resolve to embrace the simpler things in life. There is nothing wrong with aspirations of attaining material possessions so long as the more important things in life are not forgotten in the process.
A week after the funerals, my wife, mother, sister-in-law, niece, and two aunts flew to Florida for my sister’s baby shower. I was on the phone with a friend explaining the events of the past few weeks to which she replied, “It will get better, it can’t get much worse.” The more I thought about that, I realized how irreplaceable the people on that single plane were to me. A single accident comparable to the one in front of my driveway could have altered my life forever. The unconditional love and support they provide cannot be replaced by buying a bigger TV or a newer car, these were the people that no amount of money could replace. Planes take off and land every day from countless airports around the world, but I was never so happy to hug my wife as when she returned home safely.
Why? Because I said so!